For myself, well that is a hard one to explain. My experiences run from the mundane to the downright surreal. I was, as I daresay many single men do, have been trawling through different dating websites to meet women (admittedly some just for fun while others looking for something a little more serious). So I'm your typical male of the species, looking for sex on one hand and an emotional attachment on the other and I have come into contact with some very nice ladies, but I seem to arrive in their lives at times of great stress or as will be discussed later (once I have spoken to the lady in question) about to do something that will probably effect her emotionally for the rest of her life.
The first person I will mention will be the Australian lady that I have mentioned in a previous blog. We had one proper date then she heard from her family in Australia that her mother has breast cancer. I can't imagine how devastating the news of this was to her but I suppose I was just there for her whilst she went through this trying time, giving tidbits of advice where I could and trying to keep her amused and help her through everything that was happening. In the end she found out it was not as bad as originally thought and a lot of her fears subsided at which point she seems to have gone cold on me and no longer contacts me.
I met another lady through another website, again a bit of flirting and getting to know one another ensued and things seemed to be going well. Then suddenly she tells me her ex has walked into her bedroom, dumped a load of boxes and told her to move out! (Can you tell where this is going yet?) So then I am again in the same scenario of trying to help her look at the bright side of life and giving her advice on how to get a place of her own through the council as he had given her 3 days to move out! And again after the crisis had subsided she went quiet on me and has again drifted away.
Now I come to the third and final lady that I have met through a website, now this shocked me when I read it. I was on the personal classifieds of a very well know website and I found an advert, where a lady of 20 years old was offering her virginity to the highest bidder to help her get through university, now admittedly I'd had a couple of drinks that evening and sent her a random email asking her not to make, what I think will be the biggest mistake of her life and somehow a conversation has now ensued by email between us. I'm hoping that she will listen to what I have said and I have offered her money (I know this sounds bad) to help her through this. Admittedly I can't afford much but I don't want to see anyone do this to themselves. She comes across as a very nice young lady about to do something out of sheer desperation to better herself.
At this point you are probably sat there wondering what is with this guy, is he a mug or just very naive, and I sit here and wonder the same thing myself. But I sort of see how my life is progressing through these encounters. I seem to enter into peoples lives just before or during times of stress, depression or crisis and seem to just be there for them and try to help them through, well the madness is the only term I can use for it.
The question I pose myself is, Is that the meaning of my life? Is my lot in life to sit there and be peoples scratching posts, their shoulder to cry on, the person they can tell all their darkest secrets to? As I said I can end up in some very surreal situations sometimes and this last one is one the more surreal moments of my life. But then chatting with the young lady in question has randomly found some common ground interests, so hopefully this will blossom into a wonderful friendship. But yes I am probably naive and maybe even gullible but I think that even if I am 'taken for a ride' I have tried to do my best to make someone else happy and I put others before my own thoughts and feelings. That's possibly why I am in the situation I am now, being alone and lonely at times, because I put my own feelings to one side and put others before me, even if I don't really know them.
So what is the meaning of life I hear you ask, well i suppose the title should have been 'The meaning of my life' as each one of us is different, each has their own path in life, some are centred on themselves and believe the world revolves around them whilst others (and I may include myself in this) are there to help others, they put others first and maybe at sometime in the future will have a happier and more fulfilling life for doing so.
Or maybe I am living the pipe dream, personally I have visions of my life being like the ending of 'Once Upon A Time In America', that it has all been a a drug fuelled hallucination and I am dreaming of the way I wish I had been, or maybe waiting in a purgatory seeing how I could have changed my existence for the better before being reborn only to try again. Only time will tell I suppose, but the meaning of my life seems to be to be there to help when needed or to put it another way, to meet people at the perfect time to help them through their trials and tribulations and then like ships, to drift past each other on the great sea that is life.
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